7/20/2018

The Laws of Attraction and the Modern Dating Scene 

A useful, although reductive, theory on attraction comes from evolutionary psychology. It holds that we are drawn to others on the basis of our assessment of their reproductive fitness. We weigh up physical qualities (symmetry, health, youth, strength in men, child-bearing indicators in women), material possessions (wealth), social skills (status, charity, humour, confidence) and cultural factors (fashion, weight, skin tone, hair styles, body decoration). We have roughly standardized perceptions of 'attractive' individuals, though it can vary over history and in different parts of the world.
 




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When launching a campaign to catch a man's attention, take extra care with your appearance. If you are miss nature girl, try adding just a bit of make up to freshen your appearance.

Some men produce more natural pheromones than others, which is why you can see some men who are not handsome, but have no problems in attracting and seducing the most beautiful women.

According to some surveys, about 50% of adult humans can't detect androstenone, unless the concentration is extremely high. Those who can detect androstenone say that its smell is not very pleasant. Androstenone is the main pheromone that men unknowingly secrete that attract women. Both men and women secrete pheromones when they sweat. However, since our body naturally only secretes small amounts of pheromones, they are effective for only a brief amount of time. The good news is that scientists have succeeded in identifying and synthesizing both androstenone and androstenol in the laboratory.

Avoid trite clichs What could be worse than the "It wasn't you, it was me" statement? No one believes that, and frankly it's insulting and really makes no sense. Since you aren't breaking up with yourself, how could it not have had something to do with the other person? Avoid using these lines as easy ways out since you know they don't really fool anyone. At least put forth some minimal effort and offer some sort of an explanation if the break-up is sudden.

Has he casually brought up a movie that just happens to be playing? These are just a few signs when a man likes you. Now just because a man likes you doesn't mean that you have to date him. Don't make the mistake of dating a man just because he is there. Not every guy is right for you, even if all of your friends think he is "so cute" or you haven't had a date since Ben and Jerry's was invented.

Take a step back and notice the signs. Does he actually look into your eyes? Is he interested in what you have to say? Does he rearrange his schedule to make sure that he can see you? Hmm all good signs.

Androstenone pheromone is not the same as androstenol. Androstenol is produced by fresh male sweat, and is relatively attractive to women. The other pheromone, androstenone is produced by male sweat, when that sweat becomes less fresh - after exposure to oxygen. Androstenone is highly unpleasant to women, except during ovulation, when female response to this pheromone changes to "neutral". Therefore, the sweaty macho-man is likely to be unattractive to most women.

Androstenol, which appears in fresh sweat, is disintegrated by bacteria in about 15 to 20 minutes. This pheromone, which reported by women to be sweet-smelling, is also called the "pillow-talk pheromone", because women are exposed to it immediately after love making during the cuddling phase.

Does he put up with romantic comedies, your interest in clothes, your friends? Has he actually introduced you to his friends? Does he act like you are the only woman in the room?

An excellent book that deals with attraction from an evolutionary perspective is 'The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature' by Geoffrey Miller. His hypothesis is that a lot of how we conduct our lives e.g. high status jobs, creative work, being charitable or popular for example, sends signals to attract potential partners.

How to Make a Man Interested in You with Scents Dab an alluring scent on. I do mean dab it. Add a hint behind your ears. A bit on the pulse points of your neck, wrists and behind the knee. Pheromones touched beneath your nostrils can also be a powerful seduction tool. They are odorless and will have his gaze drifting in your direction.

Generally speaking, we select partners that are roughly similar to our own level of 'reproductive attractiveness' (measured in the wide sense). This means that it is not only the most 'attractive' individuals who manage to form partnerships - there is someone for everyone.

Ideas about compatibility include 'opposites attract' and 'like-minded attract'. There seems to be clinical support for both positions. On the one hand we may be drawn to individuals who have characteristics we lack. They may reflect our shadow side - the elements that reside within us but which we refuse to acknowledge. They may also balance or complement our personalities. Some examples of differences include highly-driven v. relaxed, artistic v. scientific, sporty v. sedate and introverted v. extroverted. On the other hand, like-minded individuals may connect well because it widens the field of interaction, for example sports lovers can play and watch games together, and extroverts can socialize happily. What seems important in either of these positions is that the underlying core values are congruent. Ethical and social ideals tend to be matched in solid partnerships.

There are more and more forums for finding love including internet, speed-dating, lonely-hearts columns and match-making services. There have been many success stories linked with these platforms and they are drawing a wide audience. They are effective in part because they exclude individuals who are not looking for romance. The drawbacks can be that we don't have time to see the individual in roles other than as a 'potential date'. Also, increasingly relationships begin in the virtual sphere (online, SMS texts) which can remove some of the depth of a real relationship including the pain of being rejected. For clients in therapy who are considering more traditional meeting grounds, we explore options such as taking up hobbies, playing sports, joining clubs or organizing friendly dinner parties (perhaps asking friends to bring a single friend). These activities are rewarding in their own right, and carry the bonus of forming friendships and partnerships.

Keep your arms away from your chest. Crossed arms are a definite leave me alone signal. Instead look him in the eye when he enters a room. Keep making eye contact. Then smile. Nod to let him know you noticed him. Nodding is a gesture that is mostly used by men . When you use it it will catch him off guard a bit and make him notice you.

How to Make a Man Interested in You with Body Language That said, let's talk about the secret of body language. As you sit in a restaurant, cafe or across the aisle in a classroom, you are unconsciously sending out signals. Sometimes the signal is come to mama and some times it is stay away or get your hand bitten off.

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Is he unable to keep himself from touching you? Hand on the arm or the small of your back? Can you talk for hours? Does he stay on the phone for longer than ten minutes?

Do Unto Others Put the shoe on the other foot, if you will, for just a moment and think of how you'd want to be treated if you in fact were the "dumpee" in this scenario instead. Respect the person's privacy after ending the relationship as well; anything told to you in confidence should remain that way whether you're together or not. After all, you'd want it to work the same in reverse.

Be as Honest as the Day is Long This isn't a trite clich; but rather it's a clich that offers words to live by on a multitude of levels. Lies are insidious in that they must be fed by more even lies in order to be successful. Unless you plan on carrying around a notebook to keep track of all your fibs, white lies and down right untruths, it's best to just live your life honestly, which is after all, the best policy.

Various factors can be at play during the initial attraction. Sometimes it begins as physical impulse - pheromones doing their work - and sometimes it starts as an emotional connection first. Usually it involves an implicit assessment of the other's suitability as a potential mate (genetic donor) and/or a long-term partner (protector of self and of future offspring). This entails a complex interplay of observation (often matching them up to our ideal, or even setting them up as an ideal), reaction (via chemicals and body language) and interaction.

Avoidance isn't the Answer There are some people, cowards, if you will, who choose to end a relationship by doing nothing at all. Going out of their way to avoid the other person, not returning phone calls or e-mails and simply dropping from sight, are all common methods of ending a relationship by taking the easy way out. This leaves a host of unanswered questions for the other party, not to mention absolutely no closure whatsoever.

To put it bluntlyIm going to be frank, nobody likes being dumped and few of us take pleasure in being the "dumper" either. The end of any relationship, often inspite of its length, will be a traumatic time for both parties involved where your emotions run rampant. Understanding, compassion, patience and especially, honesty, are the key factors in any successful break up, if there even is such a thing. You must learn how to let go of any relationship that you no longer wish to take part in, while preserving your dignity along with theirs.

"Does he like me?" is an age old question. If you weren't so busy being insecure you would know the answer in seconds. You can tell if a guy likes your girlfriends can't you?

Learn how to tell if a man likes you, yes, but use your gut instincts to tell if you should go out with him. How to Make a Man Interested in You Men are like snowflakes. No two are exactly alike. So answering this question is not as easy as it seems. There are specific things that you can absolutely do to raise a man's interest. But if he likes curvy blonds who love to sky dive and you are a five foot two stick who can't stand heights and has no intention of getting a boob job then getting his attention may not be in your best interest.

An available person is likely to send out the right signals when they are self-contented. It is a clich??, but a relevant one - when we can accept and love ourselves, we are in a good position to be accepted and loved by another. Inner confidence makes itself visible to potential partners. It is more convincing than 'fake' confidence (though sometimes in imagining ourselves confident, we can become it). This is why many happily committed individuals can be so appealing to others.

If you want to attract a man you must take control of the signals that you put out. If you are going to a cafe that your guy frequents, leave your books, computer and book bags at home. You don't want to inadvertently place anything in his path. Or send out the signal buzz off I'm busy.

Androstenone and androstenol are both testosterone-linked pheromones. Some people say that androstenone is stronger "macho" pheromone that signals a dominant and aggressive personality, while androstenol signals friendliness.

Don't Become a Puppeteer Worse than silly clichs and excuses are when you're strung along like a puppet for months or even years on end while the other person decides on how to end it. Imagine how they'd feel knowing you wanted it over for a while now but just didn't have the guts or the gumption to actually do it? Drawing things out only create drama and even more hurt feelings. Quick and painless is always better than a slow, agonizing end to a relationship that's long been over.

You want a man who can appreciate your assets. If you do catch the attention of a man who craves your exact opposite and you try to become that person to please him, you will only end up losing yourself. Why do you think so many people divorce? Before I let you in on the secret to attracting a man, I have one word of advice. Choose wisely.

The above information is supplied of course with the assumption that the relationship is deserving of at least some of the common courtesies that are outlined here. We all know of people who has done something terrible or who isnt worth the effort of striving for an amicable break-up. In either case it's you who will feel better if you handle the situation with as much honesty, dignity and maturity as possible.

Click on the link at the end of this article to find out more about pheromones.

How to Make a Man Interested in You with Mental Stimulation

What is your guy interested in? Does he wear a particular sport's jersey? Does the mention of his car, boat, motorcycle have him writing sonnets? Does the site of a fishing pole bring tears to his eyes? Show an interest in his passions and he just may show an interest in you. While other women's eyes may glaze over yours will sparkle with interest. A woman who actually listens to him and has a real interest? How could he not find you more attractive? Do some research, find a way to make it exciting. Truly share his enthusiasm



This is the end of this article on human pheromones journals. The value of this article would be met if you feel that you have benefited from reading it. Well, have you?
Author Dave Thomson
 
 
 


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