1/19/2018

Ugly Women and Men and the Issue of Sexual Attraction 

People feel sexually attracted to other people on account of a number of physical traits that could be identified, at the level of each individual, as pleasant and seductive. This means that physical appearance has the greatest influence on determining the type of partner we want, at least in the beginning of an intimate, erotic relationship. As a result, we are prompted into categorizing people into ugly men and ugly women. However, this identification only depends on individual preferences.
 




Isn't it wonderful that we can now access information about anything, including uses of pheromones form the Internet without the hassle of going through books and magazines for matter!


Androstenone pheromone is not the same as androstenol. Androstenol is produced by fresh male sweat, and is relatively attractive to women. The other pheromone, androstenone is produced by male sweat, when that sweat becomes less fresh - after exposure to oxygen. Androstenone is highly unpleasant to women, except during ovulation, when female response to this pheromone changes to "neutral". Therefore, the sweaty macho-man is likely to be unattractive to most women.

Some men produce more natural pheromones than others, which is why you can see some men who are not handsome, but have no problems in attracting and seducing the most beautiful women.

A nice way for you too spice up your romantic night is by using massage oils to soothe those aching muscles. Aromatherapy oils are available which have a calming scent, massaged into your skin or applied to your bath water. Either way it will bring a smile to your face and leave you energized for a night of sexual pleasure. Some very erotic scents include forbidden fruit, lavender citrus and others. Heating oil is interesting and fun all in one, it is an oil for the more intimate massages. The heating oils heat on contact with the skin and grow hotter as you blow on it sending a feeling of warm pleasure coursing through the veins of the lucky recipient. Oils with pheromones and ginseng are also available to bring out your animal instinct. Massage oils come in varying sized bottles and are also available in kits including different kinds so you can find the right one for you and your partner.

Androstenone and androstenol are both testosterone-linked pheromones. Some people say that androstenone is stronger "macho" pheromone that signals a dominant and aggressive personality, while androstenol signals friendliness.

A useful, although reductive, theory on attraction comes from evolutionary psychology. It holds that we are drawn to others on the basis of our assessment of their reproductive fitness. We weigh up physical qualities (symmetry, health, youth, strength in men, child-bearing indicators in women), material possessions (wealth), social skills (status, charity, humour, confidence) and cultural factors (fashion, weight, skin tone, hair styles, body decoration). We have roughly standardized perceptions of 'attractive' individuals, though it can vary over history and in different parts of the world.

The same happens with some of the ugly men we meet. The point is that a single detail is enough to destroy what could otherwise be called a pleasant posture. However, even a single detail turns into something uninviting that cannot be ignored if it is visible. On the other hand, there are ugly people in the posture of whom we cannot identify but rarely some minor details that could be said to be beautiful. It is amazing how one uncomely detail can contribute to a general categorization into ugly women or ugly men and, on the contrary, how one beautiful detail is not sufficient to "redeem" individuals from their identification as ugly people.

Flavored lubricants can also add an element of fun to your planned evening of romance. Ingredients in these kinds of lubricants include, glycerin, water, natural flavoring, cellulose gum, are all very safe to be tasted. The flavors can provide you with a new level of enjoyment and includes tastes like passion fruit, watermelon, peach, apple, orange and many others. Most flavored lubricants will not stain, have no nasty after taste and are latex friendly. So be ready for a nice night of foreplay, just rub some on and lick it off, you will have fun and so will your lover. They come in bottles which pump or pour, or tubes which squeeze out the end. Just pick your favorite flavor, also like the oil they also come in variety packs which have small samplers of different flavors.

In the end, the whole point is that sexual attraction is practically absent where one of the two potential partners identifies something as ugly in the appearance of the other. However, there are many people who don't mind a nose a lot bigger than the usual standards as long as the face and the body that carry such a nose are otherwise unblemished. Truth be told, no one is searching for perfection. They are only looking for someone whose body should display as little or as few imperfections as possible. Even ugly women and ugly men could back up such a statement; if they are ugly, it doesn't necessarily mean they are attracted to ugliness.

Why is it more difficult for agreeable, beautiful features to stand out from a mass of ugly characteristics? Why is it so easy for ugly features to cast a veiling shadow over beautiful characteristics and to make us forget everything about beauty? Truth be told, it all depends on how we are educated and on the environment we spend most of our time. In time, we tend to acquire the same standards of labeling as those shared by those around us. If most of the people in the company of whom we live think that a fat woman is an ugly woman, then so do we, even if somewhere else there are people (both men and women) who are not disturbed by a bit of fat. On the contrary, they even find it appealing.

An available person is likely to send out the right signals when they are self-contented. It is a clich??, but a relevant one - when we can accept and love ourselves, we are in a good position to be accepted and loved by another. Inner confidence makes itself visible to potential partners. It is more convincing than 'fake' confidence (though sometimes in imagining ourselves confident, we can become it). This is why many happily committed individuals can be so appealing to others.

First of all, an adequate, uniform body stance, lacking visible, major physical imperfections, is likely to determine us to label such as presence as an agreeable one. On the contrary, if there is something that ruins this uniformity, we tend to instantly detect something that reminds us of ugliness. For instance, there are many women who are tall and well-built; they have the perfect complexion, the perfect legs and breasts, and the perfect lips and eyes, and yet they are labeled as ugly women simply because their faces are "decorated", in some of the most incredible manners, by literally misshaped noses, too big or too crooked, making them look like evil sorceresses or strangely nosed animals.

Isn't it wonderful that we can now access information about anything, including uses of pheromones form the Internet without the hassle of going through books and magazines for matter!



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There are more and more forums for finding love including internet, speed-dating, lonely-hearts columns and match-making services. There have been many success stories linked with these platforms and they are drawing a wide audience. They are effective in part because they exclude individuals who are not looking for romance. The drawbacks can be that we don't have time to see the individual in roles other than as a 'potential date'. Also, increasingly relationships begin in the virtual sphere (online, SMS texts) which can remove some of the depth of a real relationship including the pain of being rejected. For clients in therapy who are considering more traditional meeting grounds, we explore options such as taking up hobbies, playing sports, joining clubs or organizing friendly dinner parties (perhaps asking friends to bring a single friend). These activities are rewarding in their own right, and carry the bonus of forming friendships and partnerships.

Androstenol, which appears in fresh sweat, is disintegrated by bacteria in about 15 to 20 minutes. This pheromone, which reported by women to be sweet-smelling, is also called the "pillow-talk pheromone", because women are exposed to it immediately after love making during the cuddling phase.

Personal lubricant can play a major role for a lot of people in sexual relations, whatever reason you may be prone to being dry, a personal lubricant can help. They come in water based and silicone based formulas, as well as a mixture of the two. Lubricants keep you slick and safe for a long night of passion. They will not leave a greasy residue nor do they stain or have an odor and they also clean up easy. Ingredients can include vitamin e and Aloe Vera. Most are water soluble and are safe with latex condoms. For hours of smooth safe fun, lubricants are just the thing. Personal lubricants come in bottles varying in size by ounces, some squeeze out the bottom while others use a pump for easier distribution.

Ideas about compatibility include 'opposites attract' and 'like-minded attract'. There seems to be clinical support for both positions. On the one hand we may be drawn to individuals who have characteristics we lack. They may reflect our shadow side - the elements that reside within us but which we refuse to acknowledge. They may also balance or complement our personalities. Some examples of differences include highly-driven v. relaxed, artistic v. scientific, sporty v. sedate and introverted v. extroverted. On the other hand, like-minded individuals may connect well because it widens the field of interaction, for example sports lovers can play and watch games together, and extroverts can socialize happily. What seems important in either of these positions is that the underlying core values are congruent. Ethical and social ideals tend to be matched in solid partnerships.

Generally speaking, we select partners that are roughly similar to our own level of 'reproductive attractiveness' (measured in the wide sense). This means that it is not only the most 'attractive' individuals who manage to form partnerships - there is someone for everyone.

Various factors can be at play during the initial attraction. Sometimes it begins as physical impulse - pheromones doing their work - and sometimes it starts as an emotional connection first. Usually it involves an implicit assessment of the other's suitability as a potential mate (genetic donor) and/or a long-term partner (protector of self and of future offspring). This entails a complex interplay of observation (often matching them up to our ideal, or even setting them up as an ideal), reaction (via chemicals and body language) and interaction.

According to some surveys, about 50% of adult humans can't detect androstenone, unless the concentration is extremely high. Those who can detect androstenone say that its smell is not very pleasant. Androstenone is the main pheromone that men unknowingly secrete that attract women. Both men and women secrete pheromones when they sweat. However, since our body naturally only secretes small amounts of pheromones, they are effective for only a brief amount of time. The good news is that scientists have succeeded in identifying and synthesizing both androstenone and androstenol in the laboratory.

We see, hear and smell other people; we do this on a daily basis, sometimes without even being aware of it. Sometimes unwillingly, other times deliberately, we tag other people on account of what our senses tell us about them. If their physical appearance reveals anything that we could label as unpleasant, we tend to immediately dismiss any association between beauty and the individual we are examining. However, which are the characteristics that make us differentiate between ugly women/ugly men and their beautiful counterparts?

An excellent book that deals with attraction from an evolutionary perspective is 'The Mating Mind: How Sexual Choice Shaped the Evolution of Human Nature' by Geoffrey Miller. His hypothesis is that a lot of how we conduct our lives e.g. high status jobs, creative work, being charitable or popular for example, sends signals to attract potential partners.

If you and your loved one are looking for new and exciting ways of expressing your love for one another, these fore mentioned oils and lubricants can add just that. Impress your lover by treating them to a sensual massage, indulge in mutual foreplay with your choice in flavored lubricant, get out the safe latex friendly personal lubricant and have fun. All of the oil and lubricants are aimed at foreplay which is a critical part of love making; it raises the romance and can increase the desire you have for that lucky person.



With the ending of this passage on uses of pheromones around the corner, all that can be said is to cherish what was read and to pass this knowledge on to others.
Author Dave Thomson
 
 
 


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